About the Webmaster of Steel

Kensey Alsman, Webmaster of Steel and The Most Famous Active Steelworker in the World Today, is an award winning writer and a millwright in the Melt Shop at Beta Steel. Unlike everybody else working at Steel Barrel News, Kensey prides himself on his ability to generate column after column of practically 100% fact free reporting. His writing consists almost entirely of unsubstantiated rumors, gossip, libelous statements, and shameless, self aggrandizing lies. He likes to compare himself favorably to Fox News.

When asked about his goals for Steel Barrel News he answered. "I hope to be able to incorporate some form of the word ‘coprolite' into each and every monthly issue. Maybe one month it will be ‘coprolitic' and another month it will be ‘coprolicious.' I'm not sure. I'll just play it by ear. But that's my goal and I'm sticking to it. I also like the word ‘scrotum', but I'm not a fanatic about it."

We all wish him well in that endeavor.